Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
