Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
