in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
handjob tips. give me some.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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