google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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