Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
