he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.