I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.