I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
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