I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
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He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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