her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.