I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
