i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
