Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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