He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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