thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
