I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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