Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
