At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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