Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
