You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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