i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
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Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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