Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
