Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
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