you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize