oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Randomize
