Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize