I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
