I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
