i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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