Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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