was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
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He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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