But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
