Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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