ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
