I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
