what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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