I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
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i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
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I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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