let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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