I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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