You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
