Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize