she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
