i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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