White coat. Heels.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
