You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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