i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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