I CAN MOONWALK!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
