Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
