Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
