She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
