I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize