i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
