i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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