so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
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Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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