Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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