He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
