There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
