glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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