Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
