it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize
