If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
