No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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