I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
