I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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