no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
