I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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