nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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